hmm i think i am addicted to Tom Yam Soup.
awesome.

well i think i have totally wasted the whole of november
in terms of studying
i have done absolutely nothing
its so shocking that school reopens in 3 weeks
it only hit me when naz told me
3 weeks??
and i havent even touched Economics.
oh crap.
i cannot believe i am taking A Levels next year
am i for real?
im so not ready!
i needa study.

went to the library with aidil today
bumped into fairuz and jing yi
sitting in front of aidil in the library
was a future math genius
this little bespectacled boy doing his math assessment book
no doubt promptly asked by his kiasu parents
while his sister was powering her way through mandarin
if only my own sister can do that with her mandarin studies..
tu lah. pandai pandai sangat nak belajar bahasa cina.

my brain felt so rusty today
i could almost hear the gears cringing
cant even do simple math questions
i am screwed i tell you.

tmrw. i will bulldoze my way through math
and then i'll quickly start on geography
read on duchess of malfi
and reread Brave New World
and God help me with Economics


i need As!
and i dont mean Aidil. (:
that i already have. hehe

we're always competing each other on MSN




and that's how i cheat in Tic Tac Toe. =D

just came back from sleeping over at my sister's place
sorry for not updating regularly
i wanna update about elisha's birthday party

i felt like i was in an episode of MTV's Sweet Sixteen
everyone was dressed to the nines
me, haziqah, falina and begum met up
went to beg's house to change
i ended up ironing falina's and haziqah's clothes
omg. begum's little brother is cute
haha despite the fact that he's 15 years
and he's musically inclined
so the talented!
so after we were all dressed
and haziqah was trying to familiarise herself with her 'high' heels
we had to look for a taxi
not very easy
but in the end we managed to

so we all shared the cabfare
and of course
the first ones to arrive
we ended up exploring the museum a bit
and sat down on the 2nd floor and just talked

so finally the rest of the class arrived
and we entered the Glass Hall
the place was so nicely decorated
with laces and butterflies
and on every table was a bowl filled with cadburry chocolate
so of course we finished the bowl pretty fast
then the programme finally started
and elisha entered with her brother in her arms
oh gosh she was so beautiful!
her gown was such a pretty green colour
apparently she rented it at a wedding shop. haha
and she started dancing with thee guys
first her dad
then her boyfriend. so romantic!
((:

the food was amazing
pineapple rice
and breaded shrimp
and sweet&sour fish
and chocolate cake! yummmms

but then i had to leave early all thanks to her
felt so bad for leaving early
and i missed the dancing too. *sigh*










i told you elisha was gorgeous











the class picnic was GREAT
even if nothing went as planned
me, haziqah, begum and halima got lost
and even feared for ourlives
because the thunderstorm was so strong
it was scary
in the end we seek shelter at a place called Mr Prata
and i ordered indian rojak for everyone
yum yum!
so we finally met up with the rest of the class
at esplanade
and munched through all the food that we made
i made pizzas for everyone
and yes. it was edible. no one died after eating my pizzas thanks.

so after some went home
the rest of us stayed on to play truth or double dare
needless to say
things got real interesting
and then they dragged aidil to play along
when he was just suppose to pick me up
poor thing! haha
but we all had a good laugh about it
((:



















so yes
i've only been out twice this month
but i had to be crucified for that
and all because of your inapt mental capability
of thinking logically
what is wrong with you?
nobody is perfect
or rather
nobody can ever reach your expectations
i want to live my own life
not by your values. but mine.
why is it that i always have to compromise for you?
when have you ever compromise yourself for me?
will it KILL you just to speak nicely to me?
when will it get into your head that i have feelings too
im not some punching bag for you to vent your frustrations on
just because you didnt go through what we are going through
doesnt give you the right to decide
not to be understanding
and you tell me i dont want to communicate??
and you say i dont care about anything but myself?
are you bloody kidding me??


congratulations dear Mother
you have successfully stripped me of my happiness
i never knew you had it in you to actually do such things
or say such things
they say emotional scars run deeper than physical scars
if you have the excuse of not having been trained to be a Mother
well guess what. i havent been trained to be your daughter
so we're both in the same boat
im willing to compromise. make sacrifices. for you.
but would you do the same thing for me?
i think not.
you've never encouraged me in ANYTHING
all my interests. anything that makes me happy
not a shroud of encouragement from my Mother.

im so lucky i have Dad with me
and my friends
and Aidil.

thanks for being there for me yesterday
thanks for wiping my tears away
thanks for hugging me till i felt better
thanks for everything
ily.

no matter what you say about love
i keep coming back for more
keep my hand in the fire
sooner or later
i get what i'm asking for

no matter what you say about life
i learn every time i bleed
the truth is a stranger
soul is in danger
i gotta let my spirit be free

to admit that i'm wrong and then change my mind
sorry but i have to move on and leave you behind

i cant waste time so give it a moment
i realised nothing's broken
no need to worry bout' everything i've done
lived every second like it was my last one
don't look back got a new direction
i loved you once needed protection
you're still a part of everything i do
you're on my heart just like a tattoo
just like a tattoo
i'll always have you (i'll always have you)

i'm sick of playing all of these games
it's not about taking sides
when i looked in the mirror didn't deliver
it hurt enough to think that i could stop
admit that i'm wrong and then change my mind
sorry but i gotta be strong and leave you behind

i cant waste time so give it a moment
i realised nothing's broken
no need to worry bout' everything i've done
lived every second like it was my last one
don't look back got a new direction
i loved you once needed protection
you're still a part of everything i do
you're on my heart just like a tattoo
just like a tattoo
i'll always have you (i'll always have you)

if i live every moment
won't change any moment
still a part of me in you
i will never regret you
still the memory of you
marks everything i do

i cant waste time so give it a moment
i realised nothing's broken
no need to worry bout' everything i've done
lived every second like it was my last one
don't look back got a new direction
i loved you once needed protection
you're still a part of everything i do
you're on my heart just like a tattoo

i cant waste time so give it a moment
i realised nothing's broken
no need to worry bout' everything i've done
lived every second like it was my last one
don't look back got a new direction
i loved you once needed protection
you're still a part of everything i do
you're on my heart just like a tattoo
just like a tattoo
i'll always have you

currently the song that is stuck in my head now
i like the song
i just hate and completely despise the meaning of it
how can you leave someone behind
and yet claim you still have them?
its so selfish
what is the other person suppose to do about it?
you're still a part of everything i do
you're on my heart just like a tattoo
i'll always have you
and yet you leave the person
and can't waste time on them?
does that not sound selfish??
apparently this is exactly what's happening with someone i know
which is why i'm disgusted.
too bad i kinda like the song. -.-

on another note

a strangled smile fell from your face
it kills me that i hurt you this way
the worst part is that i didn't even know
now there's a million reasons for you to go
but if you could find a reason to stay

i'll do whatever it takes
to turn this around
i know what's at stake
i know that i've let you down
and if you give me a chance
believe that i can change
i'll keep us together
whatever it takes

i'm so sorry for the past few days
=/

im so tired from crying
or tearing up
i wish i could say my tears were happy ones
but they're far from it

all good intentions go wrong
words are misunderstood
people get hurt

others assume and anger takes place
while there i am trying my best
but no one seems to notice
and my fears come true

and i start feeling horrible
the most selfish monster on the face of this earth
and then i start feeling frustrated
because i never wanted any of this
and i dont believe i am such a person
but people seem to think so

this year was a great year for me
at the very least i was happy most of the time
but ever since school holidays started
ive been feeling miserable
hopeless
terrible.

came close to a nervous breakdown
so stressed from all the pressures from all aspects of my life
i wish they could cut me some slack

but mr. abdullah says i need to be strong
and so i shall
i'll try. but i need help

im tired of pretending nothing's wrong
tired of pretending everything's okay
im praying it will be soon

as usual. woke up feeling depressed
so i decided to revisit an old therapy
went xanga and started reading quotes.
inspirational quotes got me through so much
breakups
makeups
friendship tussles
mom fightings..
im sure they'll get me through this one too

just some that caught my eye

&don't we all hope for a boy, who,
as we smooth our hair & tug at our clothes,
will grab our hands, smile, & ask us,
"now, what the heck are you trying to fix, beautiful?"

Let's run away to a place where
the air tastes like rain and
the sun shines like Sunday morning.
You bring your laugh and
I'll bring my sense of humor,
and we can taste the days,
one week after another

i miss you so much.
):

pahang was such an experience
but i have to say
visiting the orang asli there
it was so hard to leave
you wanna stay and do so much more
help them
especially the children
i have such a burning desire
to make a change
any change, even a small one
to their lives
they deserve to be happy
i miss seni.





such a fulfilling visit.
i wanna go there again please.

somewhere i dont wanna go again would be kenong rimba park
the trek was such a nightmare

special mention to some people:
nadia- thanks for keeping me warm. im so grateful
zhe ying- thanks for your concern darling (:
khairin- thanks for getting rid of the leech for me. really.
ilham,ivan,yan ling- thanks for taking care of me while i was at the hotel! you guys are great
mr ng,mr lim,veron,ian,mojo- thanks so the very much. ((:
of course
atiq,aidil,muz- thanks for helping me k? and for all your concern. means a lot (=



having great roomies does wonders to a trip

and so does having your friends around



best friends before the trip
bestIER friends after.



as always. made me realise just how much i do. i really do. (:

yesterday was the touch tournament
kinda disappointing. on my part at least. ah well
cant keep fretting about it
i have to change from a fat slow poke
to a fit hot rugger eh? (:
haha i reckon i need all the help i can get.

thanks for coming down to support!!
appreciate it much much.
though i know muz has a whole different motive for being down there.
haha ((:



darling atiq



my personal cheerleader in black! (:
(okay he's not the one wearing specs)





im gonna miss you like nuts naz!
come back from KL quick please! =/





its all different now.
its tougher now.
i hate that it's happened
but it has
and now we'll just have to deal with it.
if we're gonna make it
i need you by my side
for always.

swiss raya outing was immediately after innovian outing
so i was pretty tired out to begin with.
but nonetheless
was superbly excited about it
as usual. my house is always the first.
so naz came over earlier to do up her hair
and also pass me her baju kurong
very little people came though
was quite disappointing.
hariz, hazwani, sakinah, sahmadi.. so many couldnt make it.
including the 3 gundus yan, fairuz and taufik. -.-
those who were there..
me, naz, ezah
fahmi, afiq, hilmi
erlinna, zulaikha
fairuzana and syazrul. oh yes. adi! (zulaikha's boyfie)


mom made them do the formal thing again.

after mine was fahmi's
i didnt know he moved to yishun
his baby sister so cute lah
too bad she wasnt at home
would've loved to see her.

after that i think it was syaz's house next
so that he could change
maybe he didnt get the memo
but the dress code was suppose to be traditional
want to act mat salleh lah tu.
haha



in the train





i still think i have pretty friends. (:

poor erlinna got sick during the outing
made somebody very concerned. *cough*
meds didnt work
in the end she had to leave early
what a bummer!



ezah's home



my 1st girlfriends. still. forever. (:



after ezah's house
we went to naz's,
then headed to hilmi's home
i always liked his house
so ulu. and very nice.
his parents are really nice!
mom gave us SATAY!! oh gosh. so nice. haha

then our last house was fairuzana's
we arrived at her house at.. 11 plus.
her mom made roti boyan
so sedap can?
haha but it was past midnight. and everyone was sleepy
and i was getting tired.

darling was at jurong too.
so decided to go home with him
fahmi so nice. accompanied me to the mrt
and cabbed home with aidil.
was super super tired when i got home!

speaking of which
went to boon keng ystd to support IJC soccer team!
i have to say. i like seeing aidil play. (:

then we went to vivo to eat.
windowshopped for a while
so many clothes. so little money. *sigh*
haha
bumped into melissa and company over there
even kak bella and siraj. -.-
so after all the walking
i wanted ice cream
so we made our way to where else
but Ben & Jerry! *clap clap*
i had a cookie cookie sundae
think i had sugar overload. or chocolate for that matter
but doesnt matter. i'll jog later. (:
decided to watch a movie
BEE Movie.
surprisingly good! hilarious!
haha jerry seinfeld's a genius i tell ya.

a nice day well spent. ((:



terima kasih orang chua chu kang!! =D



thanks a gazillion naz (:

hari raya with the innovians was a blast!
though we should have started earlier
of course
i was late
felt like such a jerk for making everyone wait for me
apologised profusely when i arrived. so sorry!

so we started out with atiqah's house



they occupied their time while waiting for me
by taking pictures!
i have such pretty friends don't i? (:



the white-ys of the day



rusee and nadia



the only brave souls who dared joined 9 girls out for raya
(including darling of course(: )



atiqah's mom cooked mee goreng for us. and i helped serve! =D
she baked really nice cookies too
and that conclude's atiq's house.

next. aidil's house! ((:

i was feeling so nervous on the way there
was praying that i wouldn't look stupid
or spill any drinks or say anything inappropriate


turns out..
his parents are really nice people!! ((:
aidil has a very pretty mom
and a very macho looking dad. haha



and a really pretty house (:

next we head down to Cikgu Tetty's house
we met cikgu's daughter there
omg. she looks just like her
same chubby cheeks and round eyes
so the cute.



my adorable/sometimes you hate her/cant help but love her malay teacher

i think only at cikgu's house did everyone really settled down
and got comfortable
cause that's when people like begum, fairuz, rusydia and of course, me
get crazeee =D



this is just the starting for begum

oh cikgu has a swing set outside her house
and we took so many pictures there
everyone was like a little kid
tsk tsk. only i remained the mature one (right)




2+2-1+1=4! (:



white ranger begum?



aah. a dancer?



and so i decided to join in the fun



while the girls were have so much fun with the swing...



the boys decided to sit it out.





i couldnt believe that small little couch could fit all of us
and cikgu simple flew and settled herself
right smack in the middle
we didnt know she was so agile. haha


so after cikgu's house. we walked to Muz's house next
which he promised was very near
turns out. far lah! -.-

muz's mom cooked for us too. very nice!
i realised i was eating a lot
so far every house made something for us
but we had to be polite
so everyone started to eat
while muz studied for his madrasah exam
so poor thing.

after we left (and muz headed for his exam)
it was MY HOUSE. nyehehe

so we took a train there.

in the lrt.







im sorry but i think i have a really handsome boyfriend. (:



sorry fairuz. i just had to post this up. hehe

my house!!
my mom had a little surprise for my friends
personalised cupcakes! yummy. (:



and my mom cooked chicken curry as well



i think begum was still high from all that eating



so the formal. haha (:

after my house was fairuz's house
and then it was nadia's
her mom made a really really nice pizza
if only i wasnt so full
i would've taken more. hehe

last minute pictures!





hari raya with my classmates was so much fun
we laughed a lot
and everyone goofed around
i cant believe some are leaving
im gonna miss them so much =/





love you atiqah!
dont forget us k? ((: